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Reflecting on How I See Things

Reflecting on How I See Things 1

Reflecting on How I See Things

Hello everyone and welcome back to Join The ME Project. Also, let me extend my welcome to the first day of December. I mentioned it on my Instagram, but I really feel like this year went by fast. And you know, something about this month gets me in a mood of reflection. That’s what I’m going to be talking about in this post.

Tomorrow, I have my 12-week check-up with the surgeon that did my hip. And it’s made me reflect on what’s happened since that initial day in September. I’m still really happy with my decision to have surgery because it got rid of a lot of my pain.

See Also: Blogger Recognition Award

I just feel a bit bittersweet. I know I’m not physically where I need to be 12 weeks out. Although some aspects of this have been simply out of my hands. This wasn’t my first surgery by any means, but it was the one I had the most issues with. 

My family and I have dealt with the insurance, the surgeon, and physical therapy because there have been issues. And then these issues cause delays. It seems like an exhausting wheel of rotation without progress.

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Rather than focusing on what was only frustrating, I decided to turn my attention outwards. And I realized that I had so much to be grateful for. My mom and sister have been so helpful and loving. Our friends have shown that they care as much as possible.

I’ve discussed it a bit in, The Illusion Of Social Media. After turning my attention outwards, I had to focus back on myself. I didn’t have a negative attitude, I was grateful for who I had in my life, but there was a disconnect within me.

How I viewed myself and how I viewed my health was separate from each other. And I know what the catalyst was. Prior to my surgery, we discussed with the doctor about how everything would go. And he was pretty optimistic that I would have little to no issue.

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Through most of my healing process, I used crutches. And I thought they were a temporary solution. Then my doctor prescribed a cane and I realized my thinking was wrong. I was applying the word ”temporary” to not just the crutches but my health as a whole.

The way I viewed my whole situation was skewed. I was hiding my denial of the situation behind this wall of false acceptance. I had to take a step back and reevaluate it all. By combining those two sides of myself again, I could see that I put too much merit in this surgery.

See Also: The Visionary Friend

I can say now that I no longer have that issue but it took me a while. I had to really dig through layers of myself to get to the root of the issue. And I think that’s important for everyone to do when it comes to physical, emotional, and mental health.

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My problem was that I never buried the image that I had of myself. And where and who I am is not who I thought I would be. And in some ways, that is actually a really good thing.

So as I sit and finish writing this post, my cane is resting right beside me. Not long ago, it was the catalyst for a much-needed self-evaluation. How do I feel now? Motivated. Encouraged. And I hope that I can help someone else by simply reading this.

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As always, let me know what you think in the comments below. To stay updated follow Join The ME Project on Social Media!

Check out The CoUnity page to learn more about the project and find out how you can become a member.

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Monthly Goals for June 2019

Monthly Goals for June 2019 2

Monthly Goals for June 2019

Hello everyone, and welcome back to Join The ME Project. Four days ago on Instagram, I created this post. I discussed not only how fast it seems the year is going by but how we change with it. I thought it would be a great idea to break this down in more detail. I will be sharing my thoughts on this along with my goals for the month.

 

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How Time Passes

It’s crazy how quickly this year is passing. I’m not the best at keeping track of dates and time, my family can tell you. I had to double check the calendar this morning to make sure it was really the first of June.

See Also: Finding and Creating Your Brand Identity

But with each post like this, we get to look back on what we were able to accomplish within the month. Each day we are given the same set amount of hours. And it is up to us to make use of them.

Each day we are given the same set amount of hours. And it is up to us to make use of them. Click To Tweet

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We have the possibility to do better each and every day. And that is what matters. Not negative things. But the positive ones.

We have the possibility to do better each and every day. And that is what matters. Not negative things. But the positive ones. Click To Tweet

Monthly Goals for June 2019

This month I’m honestly open to everything. I don’t want to stress too much about numbers. My focus this month will be on building relationships and connecting with others.

Three Goals For the Month

  • Start with a blank slate. I didn’t want to come into this month with any of the baggage from the previous month. Any and all negativity will be left behind.
  • Create good habits. This is honestly a goal of mine every month. If I can get the good habits I want to keep a part of my schedule they will become more concrete.
  • Get organized. I want to get everything organized so I can figure out what I need to work on. The majority of my schedule right now is doctor appointments. But I want to work on my time management skills.

See Also: The Illusion Of Social Media

One Thing You Learned About Yourself Last Month

I learned more about the people around me than about myself I think. I’m surrounded by such wonderful and loving friends and family. Last month was very bittersweet but I learned to appreciate the people around me.

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I’ve known about my hip for years. The Orthopedic doctor, Hip Surgeon, and Physical Therapist that I’ve seen through the years have done all they can to help maintain it. But knowing that another surgery may be in my near future has me anxious.

See Also: The Visionary Friend

I think my family and friends can sense that. Ever since we’ve got the initial diagnosis they have been very supportive. And I am so grateful.

Something New You Want To Try

This may sound so odd, but I want to document my life more. You would think being a blogger and social media influencer I would get enough of it but it’s just the opposite. I actually don’t take that many pictures.

If you look at my Instagram, you don’t see many pictures of me. Even in my daily life outside of blogging, I don’t take many pictures. And I want to change that.

See Also: Free Resources Every Blogger Should Know About

I mustered up enough energy to go to the movies with my sister when she was in town a couple of weeks ago. And I didn’t take any pictures of the two of us. The last set of family pictures we took I think I was a sophomore in high school. Crazy, I know.

What goals do you have for June? Let me know in the comments below.

As always, let me know what you think in the comments below. To stay updated follow Join The ME Project on Social Media!

Check out The CoUnity page to learn more about the project and find out how you can become a member.

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Where Would We Be Without Support?

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Where Would We Be Without Support?

I’ve been contemplating a lot lately. The main focus of my thoughts has been on family, but since starting this blogging journey I realize the importance of friendship more, too. I mainly started blogging because I needed an outlet to express myself.

I’ve discussed a little bit of my health situation in a previous post before, but the majority of my time is spent at doctor’s appointments or at physical therapy. I got stuck in a rut of not feeling anything and just going through the motions.

See Also: The Illusion Of Social Media

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One day, I finally got sick of it and I decided that I wanted to change what I could. Now, my health situation is not going to change. But I could change the way I perceive my life and my outlook on it. I remember that when I was younger, writing helped me vent out all the raging emotions that I had inside. I’ve never been much of a talker but putting pen to paper seemed to be my way of communicating. There were some things that I wrote that I would share and others I wouldn’t.

My health situation is not going to change. But I could change the way I perceive my life and my outlook on it. Click To Tweet

See Also: The Visionary Friend

I decided that I wanted this time to be different. I thought, “why not make a blog? I have plenty of opinions. I’m always trying new products, this could work out.”

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Talking it over with my mother really helped me with my decision. She’s my soundboard for a lot of things, and I knew that if she thought it wasn’t a good decision, she would be frank about it and tell me. To my surprise, she was all for it.

See Also: Letting Go of Old

I made the decision to keep some things private and I still am. One of my biggest problems is that I’ve always been quite shy about my writing. At first, I wasn’t sure if I was going to tell my other family members and friends about my blog.

Britt K/@AltSpeaking on Twitter helped me see that I was making a bigger fuss about it then I needed to. For some reason, I thought that I need to make my blog a topic of conversation or at least bring it up in conversation. In the end, all I did was follow a few of them from my blog Instagram account and word got out. It made me realize if my friends and family, know who I am, then what’s the point in hiding my name. I admit that my thinking is weird sometimes.

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Twitter alone has been a big support to me. In not only finding like-minded individuals, ones who love to write and share their opinions, but people that truly want to support each other in every aspect that they can. When I started my blog, I knew what my topics were going to be, but I didn’t know how to reach readers or interact with others. I’ve learned so much just being on Twitter than anywhere else. And I think with that you have to put yourself out there.

I don’t want to be known as someone who stepped on people to get anything in life. So I want my blogging life/side to be the same way. If I can read, share, RT, or follow, I will do that. And my thinking is, “If I don’t do it for others, then how can I expect someone to do it for me?” Once again, these are just my personal thoughts. But my question for today is: How have you been shown support recently? or, When was the last time that you gave support to someone that needed it?

If I can read, share, RT, or follow, I will do that. And my thinking is, If I don't do it for others, then how can I expect someone to do it for me? Click To Tweet

As always, let me know what you think in the comments below. To stay updated follow Join The ME Project on Social Media!

Check out The CoUnity page to learn more about the project and find out how you can become a member.

Originally Posted October 5, 2017
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Create a Self-Care Toolkit

Create a Self-Care Toolkit 4

Create a Self-Care Toolkit

This post contains affiliate links. That means I earn money from the products mentioned in this post at no extra cost to you.

According to the Oxford Living Dictionaries, the definition of self-care is, ”The practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.”

In Knowing Your Limits, I discussed what limits are and broke down the differences between physical, mental, and emotional limits. Today,  I’m going to help you create a self-care toolkit. From this post, you’ll be able to learn how to use it, what should go in it, and why it is important.

What is a Self-Care Toolkit?

In some ways, a self-care toolkit is self-explanatory (pun intended). A master craftsman keeps his toolbox full of instruments that he knows. He understands how they work, what role they play, and how they benefit him in the job he wants to perform. The same can be said for a self-care toolkit. Fill it with items that are going to help you fulfill your self-care routine.

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A master craftsman keeps his toolbox full of instruments that he knows. He understands how they work, what role they play, and how they benefit him in the job he wants to perform.Join The ME Project

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Build up Where You Are Low

A self-care routine can have many factors to it. But I think it’s most important to build yourself up where you feel low. If you feel tired mentally add in items that are going to help you with that. Vice versa for other factors in your life that need strengthening.

Building off of Knowing Your Limits, I’ll be breaking the self-care routine into three parts:

  • Physical
  • Emotional
  • Mental

The Tools

Chesapeake Bay Candle- Balance + Harmony

q?_encoding=UTF8&MarketPlace=US&ASIN=B01N0RSCBI&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL250_&tag=jointmp-20 Create a Self-Care Toolkit 2019 February 2019 Mental Health Self-Care ir?t=jointmp-20&l=am2&o=1&a=B01N0RSCBI Create a Self-Care Toolkit 2019 February 2019 Mental Health Self-Care Price: $9.99

With a blend of Water Lily, pear and peach this candle can be a great physical addition to your self-care kit. Let the aroma relax you and ease away the stresses of your day.

 

#ANOTE2SELF Meditation Journal


q?_encoding=UTF8&MarketPlace=US&ASIN=1519587309&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL250_&tag=jointmp-20 Create a Self-Care Toolkit 2019 February 2019 Mental Health Self-Care
ir?t=jointmp-20&l=am2&o=1&a=1519587309 Create a Self-Care Toolkit 2019 February 2019 Mental Health Self-Care Price: $11.99

For your emotional needs, I definitely recommend this journal. It was created with self-care and mental health as its purpose. Inside you’ll find writing prompts and goals with healing in mind.

 

Verilux HappyLight

q?_encoding=UTF8&MarketPlace=US&ASIN=B00K08ZDBI&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL250_&tag=jointmp-20 Create a Self-Care Toolkit 2019 February 2019 Mental Health Self-Care ir?t=jointmp-20&l=am2&o=1&a=B00K08ZDBI Create a Self-Care Toolkit 2019 February 2019 Mental Health Self-Care Price: $39.95

While I’m including this light in the mental category, it can really go in all three because it has so many benefits. This light copies what we would get from the sun. This light therapy can help regulate your body. With its compact size, take it with you when you travel or place it where you need it most.

View The Rest of The List

These are just a few of the items I recommend you add to your self-care kit. You can view the rest below, simply click the picture.

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As always, let me know what you thought about this post. What would you add to your self-care kit?

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“Nana! The Pot’s Burning!”

"Nana! The Pot's Burning!" 11

“Nana!”

”The Pot’s Burning!”

Originally Posted November 28, 2017
Read the previous post here: Not so Black and White: My Family History

The funny thing about life is that no amount of scheduling or planning can prepare you for when things go awry. My mother had this phrase her Nana taught her to say when she was little. ”Nana The Pot’s Burning!”, was code for ”I don’t feel like being bothered.” Or ”I don’t want to talk right now.”

”Nana The Pot’s Burning!”, was code for ”I don’t feel like being bothered.” Or ”I don’t want to talk right now.”Join The ME Project

3FC2A060-707A-48D0-B8D6-0E562C14CFDD-300x231 "Nana! The Pot's Burning!" 2019 January 2019 Mental Health Self-Care

My mother’s Nana wasn’t the type of woman to say those things out right. So my mother would come up with a kitchen emergency to get her off the phone. Then her nana would rush off the phone like it was an emergency. The only thing is, this could only be done a few times to the same person or else they would catch on. Over the week, and even yesterday, I had a series of “Pot Burnings”.

The Week

Monday and on into Thursday, I had a moment of realization that I was fighting against my own body. Not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. I’ve been sick with a virus for about a week which by itself is okay. But I’ve also been dealing with complications with my Migraines and Occipital Neuralgia.

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I don’t discuss all of my health issues, that often because honestly, there are many. While one is being handled, the others are sitting on the shelf. And I don’t want my health to become a “thing” or an “it”. My health is a part of me, sometimes the parts don’t work like they are supposed to.

Planning for Failure

Yesterday, I started planning for the week. After one mishap after another, I realized the day wasn’t going to work out. I wasn’t working correctly and my tech has been acting up. The little bit that I was able to do wore me out.

It’s okay to accept defeat in a battle as long as you don’t lose the war.Join The ME Project

I was done. And I think that’s an important step to make. It’s okay to accept defeat in a battle as long as you don’t lose the war. With my anxiety and depression, I know myself enough to know I hit my limit. I needed to rest. I needed to de-stress.

Opposite of Join The ME Project

I took yesterday off. At first, I felt bad. I didn’t want to miss a post. Then I realized it didn’t matter if I wasn’t in the right mindset to write it. How could I talk about motivation, encouragement, or wellness if I wasn’t feeling these things?

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Bad days will happen. But good days are around the corner. Click To Tweet

Today is better. Today, I’m here to say that it’s okay if the pot has to burn and you have to give up the day for yourself, as long as you don’t give up entirely. Bad days will happen. But good days are around the corner.

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Knowing Your Limits

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Knowing Your Limits

Originally posted: December 18, 2017
Read the previous post here: Breaking Down My First Month of Blogging

You know what is really interesting about life? We are always learning and adapting the way we understand the events that happen around us.

So far, I’ve discussed becoming a healthier person and the positive ways to do that. But I don’t really think that we have dove into mental and emotional health as much.

Do You Know Your Limits?

To me, limits, are what we will allow ourselves to handle. Anything above a set limit is too much. After reaching your limit, it is good to take a break from the situation or the event.

Admitting that you have a set limit is not a weakness. It just means that you are aware of what your body needs. Click To Tweet

Personally, I have physical, emotional, and mental limits. And admitting that you have a set limit is not a weakness. It just means that you are aware of what your body needs. I’m going to go through and break these down a bit. I hope that this makes everyone think and come up with their own limits.

Know Your Physical Limit

With my mobility issues, I’ve become pretty aware of what my body can handle. There are still some days that I push myself and I don’t mean to, but I think I have found a pretty good balance. If I have a doctor’s appointment or physical therapy scheduled one day, I’ll make sure that the next day is open to rest. That way, I can relax and release the tension that’s built up over the previous day.

I also like to try and plan out my week ahead of time. This helps me know what I need to get done. If I can plan out a shopping list I know what stores I will need to go to. Instead of shopping when I run out of something.

Know Your Emotional Limit

Knowing your emotional limit is kind of a tricky one. It is based on your personal background and on what you can handle. When I’m close to my limit, I try to remove myself from the situation.

Improve by:

  • Say ”no” when you need to
  • Be kind to yourself
  • Start a journal
  • Detox from negativity

Know Your Mental Limit

Stress can be the biggest trigger to your mental limit. The best thing to do is find ways to combat the stress in your life. Change up your routine or limit your exposure to stressful situations.

If you are going through something, remember you are not alone. Don't be afraid to lean on others for help. Click To Tweet

Even with all of these, you know your body, listen to it. It will tell you when something is wrong.  Everyone is going through something whether you know it or not. It’s so important that we are kind and understanding of others. If you are going through something, remember you are not alone. Don’t be afraid to lean on others for help.

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As always, let me know what you think in the comments below. Don’t forget to follow me on Social Media. And check out The CoUnity page to see the various ways you can become a member.

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The Illusion Of Social Media

The Illusion of Social Media: Do you the influence social media can have on you? It's based on an illusion but it can affect your mental and emotional health as well.| jointhemeproject.com

The Illusion

of Social Media

Previously posted: October 23, 2017

Before the idea of creating a blog entered my mind, I had stopped posting as much on my personal social media. My level of interest in it had become very low. I deleted Snapchat off my phone and closed my personal Twitter account. And I had stopped using Facebook in high school. So in the process of elimination Instagram was my only social media, but I even got tired of that.

The Illusion

By tired, I’m not talking about Instagram as an application but the persona that I had created. When I made my account, I had just graduated high school, and I was healthy. On Instagram, I would always see perfect food, hair, makeup, and places to travel to. I thought that I needed to contribute to this.

At the time, I didn’t realize that I was just adding on to the illusion of social media. Because it wasn’t until around the year 2014, that my health started to change. I got sicker and my mobility was different. I no longer had opportunities to feature and showcase what I used to on my Instagram. Instead of being out in the middle of a field, my view was now a doctor’s office. And even though, I’ve tried there’s no way to get a pretty picture of that.

One day, I woke up and I realized that my whole life had changed. I needed to be honest with myself. Click To Tweet

The Lie

It got to the point that I would hide that part of me, the sick side. I would post the “best” or “pretty” parts of my life and hide the ugly. But I wasn’t acknowledging that the “best” or “pretty” parts were coming around less and less. One day, I woke up and I realized that my whole life had changed. I needed to be honest with myself.

Around this time, Lara Parker at BuzzFeed published, I Stopped Lying About How Happy I Was On Instagram And Started Telling The Truth About Chronic Pain, I ask that everyone go read this if you already haven’t. Reading this article helped me break out of this false reality that I had built for myself. For one, I was treating my illnesses as a thing or a problem and not as a part of me. Two, I thought by not letting people in, the problems would go away.

Reading this article helped me break out of this false reality that I had built for myself Click To Tweet

Social Media Honesty

So I started to post more on Instagram, but I went about it differently. This time around, I decided to be honest about whatever I’m going through. There are days that I don’t feel like or can’t get out of the bed depending on if it’s physical or mental. There’s only so much of a story, a picture can tell, so this is also one of the reasons I started my blog. I wanted to share my journey and tell my story.

Social media has grown so much in such a short amount of time. It’s used to connect people, reach out, and make friends. But it can also influence. The influence it has on some can leave a powerful effect. I think we all can use the occasional reminder that it’s just an illusion.

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Previous Post: Spoonie Tips for Surviving Winter

As always, let me know what you think in the comments below.

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The Visionary Friend

The Visionary Friend- What kind of friend are you? Being a friend is a two-way street. If we want someone to be there for us in our time of need, we have to be there for them.| jointhemeproject.com

The Visionary Friend

Originally posted: September 27, 2017.

How’s your vision? Would you say it’s good or bad? If we were talking about literal eyesight than you wouldn’t want to depend on me for anything without my glasses because my vision is actually quite poor. But no, today we’re figuratively discussing our vision. How much or how well we pay attention to others.

The definition of the word visionary means to think about or plan the future with imagination or wisdom. Synonyms for the word being: insightful, perceptive, and discerning. Can you use these words to describe yourself as a friend or your friends? And I’m not trying to call anyone out by writing this, I learned this lesson too. I recently had to look at myself and reflect on what kind of a friend I was.

My health has been changing lately. And with it came changes to my daily routine, what activities I could do, and even the way I thought. I had to grasp the realization that I couldn’t do what I once did. During this transition, I started to create expectations of others, not taking into consideration that they had their own life to live.

Someone once told me, that when you are in the height of your emotions, pain can feel like a box. And depending on how long you dwell on your own suffering that box can get smaller. This box can become so small that all you can see is yourself and the problems you face. I found this to be true. At the time, I felt like I had no one around me and that wasn’t true at all.

Once I realized that I was in a box, I started to look for ways to break out. Instead of waiting for my friends to come to me, I went to them. One of my favorite sayings is, “Everyone has a story. Sometimes we just need to read it.” Being perceptive of others let me see that they were suffering and going through something just as much as I was. And if they wouldn’t come to me, I needed to take the first step and go to them.

If you have nothing to your name, you have your time to give. You have a shoulder to give for others to cry on. If you are a visionary friend you will be able to notice that something is wrong with your friend and ask them about it. It’s hard for some to take the initiative to bring up what’s bothering them, ask first.

Being a friend is a two-way street. If we want someone to be there for us in our time of need, we have to be there for them. Click To Tweet

Being a friend is a two-way street. If we want someone to be there for us in our time of need, we have to be there for them.

  • We don’t want to be a Taker– Someone who should be seeing a psychiatrist instead of calling you on the phone about their problems. They take your time, they take emotionally but never give anything in return.
  • Or, the Non-Follow Through– The friend that says they will be there when you need them, but never shows up.
  • The 3-Way Caller– Always asking another friend how you or someone else is doing instead of calling that person directly.
  • Be the Visionary Friend– someone who takes the initiative to ask about the welfare of their friends. Someone who is there when needed. Someone who notices when something is wrong.

As always, let me know what you think in the comments below. You can read the previous post, Letting Go of Old, by clicking the link.

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Letting Go of Old

Letting Go of Old- Do you know when it is time to let go? We tend to hold onto items that have sentimental value. And sometimes that can be to the detriment of our health and benefit.| jointhemeproject.com

Letting Go of Old

Originally posted September 21, 2017

Monday, we said goodbye to the final piece of the past. In a way, it was an odd experience because to anyone else these are just two bookcases. To my mother and I, it’s us saying goodbye to memories and a chunk of our lives that had been overshadowed by my father.

Even typing out these words seem weird to me because my father’s been gone for 13 years. But this was the last thing of his (He’s not dead, he’s been out of the picture since I was 13.) that we had and now his influence is completely gone.

These bookcases started out with a great big platform top. With all the pieces combined, they once housed a 40inch big screen TV that was bought in the early 2000s so it was as big as it was wide. Our living room then wasn’t made for conversation and intimacy it was made for entertainment. We fit into a restricted mold of what life had to be. Once he was gone, well, we started to break that mold. One day, the TV stopped working so my mom was more than happy to let it go. Next came the platform top, the bookcases were a whole lot easier to move without it. And now, bye-bye bookcases.

The Lamp of Memories

Going through our experience made me remember another, of a woman with a lamp. We became quite close to our neighbors that lived beside us before we moved not long ago. And during our moving process, we would give them items that we didn’t want or couldn’t take with us. Through the course of this exchange, she gave me a lamp. And I love it, it matches the wood furniture in my bedroom and I put a nice flower print lampshade on it. But to her, it was one of the last items that she had from a previous relationship. She had so many bad memories from this relationship that she actually hated the lamp.

we tend to hold onto items that have sentimental value. And sometimes that can be to the detriment of our health and benefit. Click To Tweet

Now my question for all: Why do we do this to ourselves? For some reason, as humans, we tend to hold onto items that have sentimental value. And sometimes that can be to the detriment of our health and benefit. Remember sentimental does not just mean tender thoughts, it also means something invokes sadness and nostalgia. It makes me sad though, do we want to feel this way and is that why we hold on? Or do we simply forget too, that it’s just a lamp and bookcases, and you can always buy more? I think it’s time to let it go and live free.

Let me know what you think in the comments below. You can also read the previous post, Tech Review|Canva iOS App, by clicking the link.

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